Seinfeld

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think: "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."



The big advantage of a book is it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning.



People don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.


You can measure distance by time: "-How far away is it?" "-Oh about 20 minutes."
But it doesn't work the other way: "-When do you get off work?"
"-Around 200 meters."


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Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:

«-My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.»